Oi You Fat Bastard

That Poppy Tattoo takes pride of place on the stumpy arm of resident fucktard Christopher Webster, he regularly exposes his stump at any given opportunity, almost as often as his flaccid little dick… He love’s his little tat so much that he even made the following video to tell us all, he does love making videos, just be grateful that this one doesn’t involve the bathroom like his previous recordings! However, he lives in a shit hole,whatever room he uses, no wonder he couldn’t sell the place, dirty bastard.

Watch the video in its entirety, apologies in advance for the sight of copious amounts of blubber & we can assure you that the sound is in real time, he really does speak as if he’s an old 45rpm vinyl record played at 33rpm, yes the cunt really is fucking stupid.

So people, put up the volume, get a sick bucket, tissues for a funfuckingtastic laugh & pay attention to it all, we shall be addressing his comments straight after.


                                                                    All Together Now

And why does he look so out of proportion, like this (apologies to the nice looking guy in this image, we have only used this to show up the ugly fat pie eater),



Well bugger me, new washing powder ensures your tattoo does not run! Webster demonstrates how to dry wash during a water shortage. Derbyshire water board refuses to use video after worries to the viewers eyes.

That gut, oh my god. he makes Gazza’s mate 5 bellies look like Kate Fucking Moss.

So, are you recovered sufficiently to go on?

Wipe those eyes from laughing so much, its going to get better, as is so often said, Webster is the unwanted gift that keeps giving…..

  • The Flannel- It was dry.
  • It’d red so we couldn’t see the colour come off.
  • You & your dodgy shoebox company aren’t going any where?- It’s closed down.
  • You work 3 days a week?- You were sacked from RR.
  • Attack your family?- You’re wife & kids left ya.
  • 17 year old was really 42?- Lying fucking dirty bastard, evidence is on WMHC to verify this lie.
  • Wristbands £2.- so where are your accounts since 2011, you thieving bastard.
  • Who pays your petrol?- Probably the money from the wristbands because you have never accounted for it.

Here he is again showing off that Tattoo with pride, oh look, the princess is wearing his illegal army uniform, the one that got him a criminal record, nawty nawty Mr Webster, by the way, what happened to your legs, were they donated to medical research at birth? You truly are one ugly fucker.

right arm


Another proud pose of the Tat, considering the size of that gut, I’m more impressed he has managed to bend at all!

left arm

Oh & again, proudly showing it off in Hereford to his new squelchy bird, how fucking desperate must she be if Webster is the best she can pull….

right arm again

We have mocked up some new tattoo’s for you Webster, which are much more fitting, what do you think? We’ve even had a whip round to pay for it but then a little birdy told us you have neglected to pay maintenance for your kids, so we thought fuck it, let the little deadbeat dad pay for his own….


We particularly like this one, tough guy.


Our particular favourite & one that is most fitting.



We mentioned Squelchy earlier on, yes this is the idiot allegedly dating super stud, lets have a little look at the beauty who is so fiercely protective of her catch, the deadbeat dad, Walter Mitty, sexual deviant Chris Webster.



Oh yeah, she’s a babe, just like the film. Webster really is the man where any hole will do & it doesn’t necessary have to be breathing! Old Webster does have big idea’s about himself, he really does see something else when he looks in the mirror as this following screenshot from his Twitter confirms, sadly for him, no one else agreed, no one liked or retweeted his post, but then no one ever does.

karl comment

You see Webster, to be compared to a man like Karl Pilkington, you need to actually look like him, not just have a bald fucking head! If you want to look like someone famous,ask squelchy because with her chin, I’m surprised the The Dandy haven’t chased her up to star as Desperate Dan’s fucking love child.


Finally from the team



Our final word to you Chris Webster



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